Character Design
Wedding Crashers is a comically grim-dark adventure written for first-time players. These character biographies demonstrate descriptions aimed at investing the player, inspiring curiosity, and providing subtext for a broad spectrum of player choices.
After five years apart, seven friends reunite for an ill-fated wedding.
Can they survive the horrors that await? Can they survive each other?
The Tipsy Athlete
Background.
You left to become a member of the local militia. Your prowess in combat impressed your superiors, and your ability to hold your liquor impressed your peers. You spent time defending the area from the recent raids, and rose quickly in rank. Taking time away from training and duties was hard, but the chance to see your friends again will be well worth it.
Secret. A month ago, after a night of heavy drinking, you woke up with fiendish tattoos around your wrists, and a seditious book, Sympathy for the Devil: What Azmodeus Teaches Us, in your possession. You don’t remember joining the cult, but your superiors found out and you were dishonorably discharged. The past month has mostly been a drunken blur, but sometimes you swear the tattoos feel like they are on fire, and you have no idea why.
Ability: Party Animal.
You have advantage on Charisma-based ability checks when you share a drink with your target. Chug! Chug! Chug!
The Ambitious Artist
Background.
The creative of the group, you’ve always been fascinated with art, and the money that can afford it. You left to pursue a residency in the city, married into a house of considerable repute, and have impressed the nobility with both your social graces and affinity for hosting magical parties and events. You initially balked when asked to host the reception, but later decided that a old friend is worth the short time away from pursuing your ambitions.
Secret. Your assistant is Orin Loudwater, first cousin to the king. He will be reporting on the wedding reception. Impressing him will land you the role of royal event planner and bring you the recognition you desire among the most powerful people in the realm. Dark circles have formed under your eyes because of the sleepless nights you’ve stayed up planning, but for you, the wedding reception *must* go perfectly.
Ability: Hit it.
You are used to getting your way. When one of your creations fails to land a hit or take effect because of a die roll, You can spend a bonus action to whack it and force a re-roll.
The Famed Entertainer
Background.
Always the joker, you left to attend Howels, an exclusive bardic college. After graduating, you amassed a following as both a singer and an actor, with several zealous fans. While playing at something as simple a country wedding would normally be beneath someone of your current reputation, you are willing to make an exception for Pasha.
Secret. You’ve grown addicted to betting on tavern lizard races, and have amassed a huge gambling debt. So far you have managed to dodge the collectors, but it's only a matter of time before they find you. When they do, you’d better have the funds. The money from the wedding will greatly help, but you’ll need to find more. Perhaps then you can finally stop constantly looking over your shoulder.
Ability: Limelight.
You're a star, baby! Expend a bardic inspiration and make yourself the center of attention. Any action taken by creatures within 10ft. that doesn't involve you in some way has disadvantage.
The Cookie Entrepreneur
Background.
The most business-savvy of the group, you moved to the city and established a small but highly successful business in cookie delivery. Though you have become quite busy after just opening a sister bakery, returning to bucolic Omenburg for the wedding would be welcome respite from managing the cookie factory and the endless bookkeeping. You even agreed to make the wedding cake.
Secret. Your bakery and cookie delivery services are fronts for The Key, a network of traders who deal in services and goods of questionable ethics. You’ve risen far, but have accumulated visible scars from deals gone bad. The Key has informed you that an old friend (the entertainer) has outstanding debts and have been assigned to collect. You have no qualms about doing whatever it takes to get the money, but hope to find a subtle solution that won't reveal your criminal connections.
Ability: Is it Ready Yet?
When you attack with your rolling pin, as a bonus action you can make a secondary attack to stick them with your Oddly Sharp Butter Knife, do an additional 1d6 piercing damage, and see if they are done.
The Pious Cheerleader
Background.
Upbeat & outgoing, volunteer work repairing farms led you to befriend and join worshipers of the harvest. You became a promising acolyte with your can-do attitude, and tirelessly spread the word about the nutrition the Corn God provides to body and soul. Although indisposed when Pasha was looking for an officiator, you accepted the wedding invite for a chance to see old friends, and maybe turn them on the power of corn.
Secret. Always the optimist, it has only recently dawned on you that you likely died. You feel fine, but ever since you woke up in after hitting your head in that abandoned village, you’ve had questions. Why has a year passed? Why are you obsessed with death now? Why is your left index finger missing? Why do you find pieces of yourself on the floor? They reattach easily enough, but that can’t be normal. You can’t miss the wedding, so you’ll literally have to keep yourself together so as not to worry your friends.
Ability: Light of the Corn God.
A flash of light streaks towards a creature. On a hit, the target takes 4d6 radiant damage. If this destroys an evil creature it's remains burst into a shower of buttery popcorn. While still warm, the popcorn can be consumed over a minute to restore hit points up to the total damage rolled, spread over any number of good or neutral creatures.
The Studious Bookworm
Background.
The consummate scholar, you left to study at the Academy Arcaneux, where you honed your magical talents. Your colleagues find you abrasive, but can’t deny that you are almost always right in a debate. You’ve found navigating the childish politics of Academy tiresome of late, so a chance to get away and catch up with old friends is just what you need.
Secret. Though you tried your best, your magical talent never developed beyond a rudimentary level. You were almost dismissed from the Academy before stumbling upon a ritual that put you in contact with an ancient, alien being. In desperation, you made a pact with this entity. Your eyes are now a milky white, but it is a small price to pay for the powers and esoterica that are now yours.
Ability: Academic Overload.
The target must make an Inteligence saving throw or take 3d8 psychic damage and run screaming from as they are burdened with a lifetime of accumulated useless facts you keep in your head.
The Nature Lover
Background.
Quiet and introspective, your love of the outdoors led you to life in the surrounding wilderness. In your travels you’ve learned to survive on your own, and have become known as a protector of the wilds. Though more at home in the forests, when you received an invitation to the wedding, you welcomed the rare indulgence you take in the comforts of civilization.
Secret. You are a member of a secretive woodland cult known as the Black Root, dedicated to eradicating the unnatural and abhorrent creatures that threaten natural world. You have seed implanted in your right hand that causes it to look wooden and laced with vines, and it is the source of your magical abilities. It is wild, volatile, and in time it will consume you, but you accepted it willingly in exchange for the power it provides to eradicate those who violate nature.
Ability: Feed the Tree.
Thrust your arm into dirt or rock and call upon The Black Root. Any creatures within 15 ft. must pass a Dexterity saving throw or take 2d6 necrotic damage and be restrained for a round as dark, thorny roots sap their life essence.