Nature & Conditioning

I have revised my Rainy Season rules to as follows:

1. It will rain today

2. If for some reason it does not rain today, it is only because
   

   1. it rained yesterday

   2. it will rain tomorrow

3. If it's not raining, you wish it was, because it's nasty humid out.

Add in the fact that Japanese buildings have no insulation, and the result is that, without an air conditioner, my apartment felt like a Turkish bath house, except it lacked a personal masseur. This had to be remedied. I mean the steamy apartment problem, not the lack of personal masseur, though that would be nice.

While I had searched for an air conditioner before, I couldn't justify the purchase due to the astronomical prices. I figured that I would just try and rough it through the summer. Rainy season washed away any concerns over cost, and I found myself scouring the city for the best deal on a one-room unit.

After some searching, I finally found an air conditioner that wouldn't require an entire months paycheck. I began the purchasing procedure, sitting at the little desks they have for major purchases, when I hit my first snag. It turns out that the installation of an air conditioner is a difficult process and the stores charge and additional $100 to install it. At this point, my desire to have an apartment that didn't dehydrate me to death was greater than any financial considerations, so I said “OK, fine, whatever. Let's do this."

Agreeing to the fee, they opened the calendar to tell me that the next available slot to install a unit was... next month?!? My jaw dropped. I tried to explain that if they installed the unit in four weeks no one would be there to answer the door because I would be dead shriveled corpse on the floor, but the guy helping me just kinda stood there with an uncomfortable look on his face. Screw it. I decided that I would purchase the air conditioner and install it myself. How hard could it be?

Bad move.

The instructions to install the air conditioner were complete nonsense to me. Sure, they were written in Japanese...but my experience with most instructions in this country is that the illustrations are usually good enough for me to understand whats going on. Such was not the case. After 30 minutes of fiddling with tubes, wires, and no idea of what went where, I gave up. I managed to make my face even wetter than I thought possible as tears joined the with the never-ending sweat on my face.

At school, I mentioned my plight to my fellow teachers, asking what they thought I should do. Miracle of miracles, one teacher had a high school friend who installed air conditioners. He made a call and his friend happened to have a day open the following week. Because he was good friends with my teacher, he only asked for $100 despite purchasing the unit from another store. Other shops I had inquired at wanted upwards of $250. Very cool of him.

After an hour and a half of the guy climbing all around my balcony, drilling holes in the wall, and using all sorts of instruments I had never seen before, (and that were definitely not in the instructions), he finished the job. Delicious cool air filled my bedroom as I paid and thanked him. I even tossed in a decent bottle of wine I had, hoping the heat hadn’t ruined it. Finally, the month long heatwave in my bedroom was finally quelled by what has to be one of man's greatest inventions. I could sleep well again and continue loving japan.